An Eternity
by AnthroGirl
Summary: When an Australian anthropologist from Jack's past finds an alien artefact in the Australian outback, Jack is forced to let her work with the Torchwood team in an effort to discover more about it. Jack/OC, Jack/Ianto. Rating is cautionary at best.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own them. I own Apanie Bara.

This is my first Torchwood fic. We've only seen about 4 eps here in Australia. Anyway, classification is:

Adventure/Drama/Romance Jack/Ianto Jack/OC (Apanie Bara).

Spoilers: 1x07 - Greeks Bearing Gifts. Loved this ep! Poor Tosh!

Blurb: When an Australian anthropologist from Jack's past finds an alien artefact in the Australian outback, Jack is forced to let her work with the Torchwood team in an effort to discover more about it. The team are bemused to find that their new acquaintance knows Jack very well...but not as well as Jack would have liked her to! Jack/Ianto, Jack/OC (will probably end up Jack/Ianto).

Feedback: Feedback is always welcome. This story is incomplete so if you'd like to read more, please leave feedback so that I know I should continue.

**AN ETERNITY**

Toshiko Sato sat staring blankly at her computer monitor. She'd stayed late into the night to run diagnostics on the Torchwood system in a vain attempt to occupy her mind and take her thoughts away from the horrors she'd witnessed over the last few days. But her thoughts kept drifting back to Mary and the way she'd made her feel like…more than just Toshiko Sato, more than a Torchwood agent…administrator. More than the sad, lonely woman that the other Torchwood members apparently pitied and thought so little of.

She heard footsteps fall behind her but didn't bother to turn around; she really didn't care anymore.

"Tosh?" Jack's voice broke through the gentle humming of the computers around her. She didn't answer, didn't give any indication that she'd heard him. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him

"Tosh, are you ok?" his blue eyes were filled with concern. Tosh tried to give him a smile, but it was a soggy tear-filled gesture that only served to convince Jack that she was far from being alright. She found herself gathered up into her boss's arms as he dropped fatherly kisses upon her head. Wrapping her arms around him she let out a frustrated sob and then dissolved into tears.

"I think you need a new member of the team" Tosh told Jack softly after she'd finished crying. They were sitting in his office drinking brandy. Leaning forward slightly, Jack's eyes hardened

"You're not quitting Tosh" he told her in a gentle, but stern voice. Tosh shook her head, no.

"I think…I've been thinking, Mary was right. We're just invaders Jack. That's all we do. We take technology, and capture aliens and sort out everything we need to and yet we still don't **know** anything. We don't even attempt to learn anything from the life-forms we capture; not about them, their worlds, their lives, their beliefs. I decoded a letter once Jack, did you know that? A real letter! An alien letter to an alien family. They're just like us, but we don't see that. We don't look for it! I think…" Tosh took a deep breath "I think we need an anthropologist on the team"

Jack remained silent for a long moment, staring at Toshiko like he was trying to pry open **her** mind to find out what was going on. He fell back into his chair and regarded her over the rim of his brandy glass as he took another sip.

"The 21st century is when it all changes Tosh. And I can **guarantee** you that anthropologists have absolutely nothing to do with that"

"Jack –"

"Tosh, anthropologists…they're….they're not even scientists! Their entire life involves asking intelligent people stupid questions!"

"You're really only interested in the technology" Toshiko stated in a glum acceptance of the reality she was living in "it was only a suggestion Jack. I just thought…well I just thought it would've been nice to know more" she stood up and headed for the door "I'll see you tomorrow Jack".

"Tosh? If an anthropologist literally falls into my lap tomorrow, I'll think about hiring them ok?" he made a small attempt to adhere to her suggestion. Toshiko gave him a small smile

"Thanks Jack"

"Hi, I'm looking for Jack Harkness"

Ianto looked up from the administration desk to find himself looking at a woman with dark brunette ringlets, piercing green eyes and an arm-load of books.

"I'll see if he's in ma-am" he told her, trying to size her up before picking up the phone

"Sir, there's a woman here to see you…by the name of…"he paused, nodding to the woman who filled in the blank

"Apanie Bara"

"An Apanie Bara" he clarified to the man on the phone. He heard the other end click down firmly.

"I'm sorry Miss Bara, but Mr Harkness is currently –"

"Apanie!" Jack stood in the doorway staring down at the woman who stood nearly a foot shorter than him. She gave him a wry grin and attempted to wave around her books. Jack strode over to her quickly and relieved her of her burdens, then took a step back. Ianto noted with an almost jealous curiosity that his boss, and lover, seemed almost scared to even touch the visitor.

"Hello Jack" Apanie greeted him, touching his arm briefly and giving him a half-smile when he visibly flinched. She seemed to take some sort of perverse pleasure in making him noticeably uncomfortable "I'm sorry, I forgot." She told him softly, and then added "I thought you'd be over it by now"

Ianto watched the encounter closely, noticing the way Jack swallowed heavily and then gruffly muttered

"I'll never be over it. I told you"

"I should go then" Apanie told him with a sad smile, picking up her books "It was good to see you again Jack…no matter how briefly" She turned and headed for the door, and Ianto watched Jack's face betray his internal struggle.

"Don't! Don't go" he finally told her, his shoulders sagging in defeat.

"Come in and meet my team. See the facility. It'll be good to…to catch up" Jack told her. Ianto opened his mouth to protest, but shut it again as Jack gave him a look that he couldn't quite understand. Jack was an enigmatic man who seemed to draw others to him, Ianto knew the lure of his boss's charms all too well. As long as Jack took an interest in him, he was content to let his boss keep himself to himself. This woman, however, unsettled him. Her eyes were intense and appealing, and more disturbingly, Jack's charms didn't seem to affect her at all.

"Apanie, this is Torchwood. Gwen, Toshiko, Owen, and Ianto was at the front desk"

Gwen and Owen looked up from their game of cards, Gwen waved and sent her a warm smile, Owen looked her over unabashedly; Toshiko turned from her computer monitor to send a friendly smile her way. Apanie smiled back at the women and met Owen's gaze steadily after his eyes finally found hers. She gave him a slow, easy grin and a small wink. He blushed and ducked his head, and Apanie rolled her eyes as she heard Jack smother a small chuckle beside her. Looking up at him, she asked

"Where's my office?"

"This way" he muttered, leading her up to his office overlooking the Torchwood base.

Once they'd left the room, Owen voiced the question on everyone's mind

"Who, was that?"

"Someone he worked with before Torchwood?" Toshiko wondered aloud

"Ex-lover perhaps" Gwen mused thoughtfully as her eyes wandered up to the large glass windows of their leaders' office.

Inside she could see Jack and Apanie deep in conversation. Jack's charming smile seemed to have little effect on the woman, unlike Gwen who went weak at the knees at his mere presence. She blushed furiously at her own thoughts, and ducked her head back down and continued to play her card game with Owen.

"One of my students found some interesting artefacts on a recent dig" Apanie informed her oldest friend. He seemed happy enough to see her, despite their last heated parting almost 60 years prior.

"A dig? What are you working as?" Jack asked with a sinking heart, his thoughts flashing back 60 years to when he'd watched her walk off into the sandy Sahara Desert with only a bottle of water and a sad smile on her face.

"I'm an anthropologist. I work at the Australian National University" Apanie informed him "I always said I had an interest in cultures and…old things" she winked playfully at him and he bit back the flirtatious remark that came immediately to mind.

His heart sank fully into his stomach as he realised that an anthropologist had just fallen into his lap. He'd promised Toshiko he'd hire one if it happened…he just hadn't bargained on it happening, let alone the anthropologist turning out to be one of the very people whose mere presence unsettled him.

His strong attraction to Apanie Bara had been apparent from the very moment the two of them had met over 6 decades earlier. She hadn't changed at all in 60 years. Her secret, unlike his, was not immortality, but rather an unusual alien artefact that had been given to her upon the death of her mother. A small, metal bracelet that once placed on the wrist of a person would merge with their skin and DNA making them seemingly immortal until it was removed, usually forcibly. The bracelet had been in the family for generations, and it was only Apanie's unluckiness in having been left orphaned that allowed her to make the mistake of placing the bracelet on her arm when she uncovered it amongst her parents belongings years after their deaths. Jack knew of the bracelet and its powers. He new this woman very well, almost better than he knew himself, and yet she intrigued him. He loved her desperately, and whilst he was certain of her love for him, he was unsure of her attraction to him.. He'd tried for years to get her attention; he'd ached for her and dreamed of her. When she'd left, he'd cried for her; for his closest friend and his almost-lover. She'd never even let him kiss her…

Jack picked up the old leather bag she'd brought with her and started to unpack its contents onto his desk, only to receive a hard smack on the back of his hand on its second trip back in. He whipped his hand away and stared at Apanie with amusement and affection

"You know you're the only one who would ever get away with that" he told her in a soft, intimate voice. Apanie chuckled and shook her head

"That's just sad Jack. Very sad. You need a good ass-kicking every now and then I should imagine"

"Are you offering?" Jack's comment slipped out before he could sensor it. He expected a deluge of insults to be aimed at him, but to his surprise, Apanie cocked her head to one side and gave him a small, sentimental smile

"Jack, the only ass-kicking I'll be giving you is a proper one. Not the type that, say…Ianto the house-boy would give you?"

"He's not a house-boy" Jack said quickly, and Apanie let out a quiet laugh

"Oh dear, see now, that was just a guess. I actually thought it might have been Gwen for a moment. How big your ego must be now, with at least two team members fawning all over you"

"They do not _fawn_ all over me" Jack grinned, knowing he didn't sound in the least sincere.

"_Everyone _fawns all over you Jack. Men, women and aliens alike." She told him with another smile.

"You never did" Jack's voice changed, became serious. He shifted closer to her and she held her ground, turning bright green eyes up to gaze at him thoughtfully

"No, I never did"

"I wanted you to" he told her, shifting his head closer

"That was the problem Jack" she told him quietly, turning her head and shifting so that she could start unpacking her bag. Jack let out a soft sigh and ran a hand through his hair; he turned his attention back to the contents of her bag.

"What have you got?"

"I'm not sure. There are engravings on the artefacts but of course, I couldn't make them out because I don't have access to other similar artefacts that might help me compile some sort of written language database, or a catalogue of symbols or…anything. I don't like finding this stuff Jack. I don't like it being on my planet, and I don't like the fact that it just 'slips through'"

"Where?"

"Where what?"

"Where did you find it? Where did it 'slip through'?"

"Outback Australia" she admitted softly, knowing he wouldn't like her answer

"You went back to Australia?" he enquired in a surprised murmur.

"It's where I belong Jack…you always knew that"

"And the artefact's, they were buried…or just found at a dig site?"

"Buried. We unearthed them near a midden in North-West Queensland. There were a number of Aboriginal tribes in the area around 40,000 years ago, but obviously we're just taking a guess at the age of the artefact. It's most likely much older than that…Jack I haven't notified the university about this…and I slipped some retcon into the grad student's drink soon after he handed it over to me."

"Ok, well…thanks for bringing it to us. We'll try and figure out what it does" Jack told her in his most professional voice, pulling himself out of her personal space.

"Jack…I want in on this" Apanie told him as she placed a hand on his arm to stop him from walking away "You can't shut me out of this. The retcon won't work on me, you know that"

"Apanie –"

"No Jack. I'm in on this, or you're out. I'm not fussed on your current position one way or another. I don't care about Torchwood, but I do care about my artefacts, and I do care about you…your opinion I mean" Apanie met his eyes and forced herself to contain her blush to a minimum. She and Jack had an almost-history and she wouldn't allow her slip-up to let him jib her out of being a part of the team on this one. It was her artefact. She met his eyes with a steady gaze and saw the moment he admitted defeat. She grinned and threw her arms around him, standing on tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek

"Thanks Jack…you won't regret having me around" she told him, gathering up the artefact and heading for the ground floor of the Hub.

Jack slumped into his chair and let his chin drop to his chest

"Somehow I doubt that very much" he muttered to himself, quashing the memory of a night spent lying next to her in a tent in the middle of a forest, the dim lamplight flickering over her features as he watched her sleep.

"Toshiko?" Apanie quietly took a seat next to the petite Japanese woman, placing a couple of sheets of paper in front of her. Tosh turned to the new woman with a questioning gaze. Apanie smiled her friendliest smile

"I'm an anthropologist –" she started, but got no further because Toshiko had jumped up from her seat and stood staring up at Jack as he watched over them from the balcony above, her eyes were wide with surprise as she stared at him, her mouth slightly open. Jack grinned down at her and nodded once

"I hope you like your present Tosh" he smirked, turning and heading back into his office. Toshiko spun back to face Apanie

"You're really an anthropologist?"

"Yes, I'm a professor with the Australian National University" Apanie told her in a formal Australian accent

"And Jack…Jack asked you to work with Torchwood?" Tosh asked eagerly

"Well…" Apanie hesitated "Let's just say that Jack and I came to a mutual understanding" she told Tosh, giving her a small conspiratorial grin. Toshiko certainly didn't care how this newest addition had come to be working with her, but she felt validated. Jack had listened to her, had stuck by his word. Tosh sat back down and faced Apanie

"I once found an alien letter" she told her in a hushed voice, leaning closer to the woman with the bright green eyes that sparkled with interest and amusement

"Why are you whispering?" Apanie whispered her question and Toshiko looked over at Owen and Gwen, then at Ianto serving coffee

"The others…it's all about the technology. I accept that, but I want to know more about what we're dealing with; I want to know more about the alien life-forms that keep slipping through the rift. They write letters, so they are intelligent and have cultures and beliefs and families and…so much more than just their technology" Tosh's small speech was rushed and breathless as she searched Apanie's eyes for the acceptance that she knew she'd find from an anthropologist. She wasn't let down

"You know…all higher life-forms have some form of culture and society" Apanie informed her with a smile "I'm glad to find someone outside the discipline who can understand the attraction of studying these types of things" Apanie pointed to the papers she'd set on the desk

"These are some of the markings I recently copied from an alien artefact found in North-West Queensland, in Australia. Do they look at all familiar to you? I figure that they're some form of alien hieroglyph system, but without anything else to compare it to I really can't come up with anything that might help us translate it."

"Do you know what the artefact does?" Tosh asked with interest, but Apanie shook her head

"That's why I came to see Jack. I'm not used to digging up alien artfacts. Middens, burial sites, old human artefacts yes, but not alien'

"How long have you known Jack" the question was out before she could sensor it and Tosh blushed "I'm sorry" she said "that's not really any of my business I suppose"

"No worries" Apanie laughed "I've known him for…oh…60 years now"

"What?!" spluttered the little Japanese woman "60 years?"

"What's 60 years?" Gwen asked, and Owen also looked up with interest

"Uh" Apanie looked between the three of them, unsure of what to say next. An arm wrapped itself around her shoulder and she breathed a small sigh of relief as she heard Jack's voice

"Apanie and I met around 60 years ago. But we really don't need to be concentrating on that, do we?" his intention to avoid the topic completely was clear in his tone, and the Torchwood team nodded and ummed their affirmations.

"I guess you two will be pulling an all-nighter then" Jack turned his back to Tosh and Apani. The two women looked at each other and grinned. Apanie gave Jack a soft shove to send him on his way as she laid her sketches in front of Tosh so they could get a start on deciphering their puzzle.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Jack's ego is bruised and he's searching for answers as to why Apanie isn't attracted to him.

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AN ETERNITY: Chapter 2

Jack rolled over and checked the clock next to his bed. Thumping his head back down on the pillow her rubbed both hands over his face and then through his hair before heaving his body to a standing position. It was 3am and he could hear the soft murmuring of voices in the main area of the Hub. He grabbed a white t-shirt from a draw and threw put it on as he made his way out to the two women who were obviously still hard at work on deciphering the hieroglyphs on their artifact.

"When I said pull an all-nighter I wasn't meaning literally Tosh…" he trailed off when he realized that Tosh was asleep, bent over the sketches on the desk in front of her. Apanie was staring at a computer monitor and muttering excitedly to herself. He watched her for a time, taking in the loosely tied back mass of curls, her not-quite-fashionable skirt and shirt. He smiled despite himself as he took in her bare feet. She was standing with her back to him, hands on hips. She didn't seem to have noticed his presence or the fact that he'd spoken. He slowly approached her from behind, not hiding the sound of his footfalls, but all the same when he placed his hands on her shoulders Apanie let out a small squeak and spun around.

Her heart was pounding as she stared up at him, her forearms now pressed between their two chests and his hands gently gripping her hips to steady her.

"Whoa! App, it's just me" he told her with an amused smile. She sucked in a breath and ducked her head

"Jesus Jack, don't sneak up on me like that!" she made no attempt to move out of his embrace much to his surprise and pleasure.

"I did actually say something before I came in App" he told her.

"Ah, well, you know what I'm like" she sighed with a wry grin "Toshiko fell asleep around three hours ago" she told him in a hushed intimate tone, meeting his gaze "she's lovely Jack, I really like her."

She suddenly found herself at arms distance from him, and his hands gripped her shoulders as her bent slightly to her height and to meet her eyes more fully

"You like Tosh? Is this why? –" his question was cut off when she slapped his chest and pushed him away fully

"I'm not gay Jack!" she hissed at him, torn between anger and amusement "Just because someone doesn't fall at your feet immediately doesn't mean they bat for another team".

"Immediately? It's been 60 years and I've yet to see you fall for anyone or anything that wasn't some stupid cultural artifact!" Jack's voice was low and angry, his gestures abrupt as he pointed at her and then the small pyramid-like artifact that she'd been studying.

Apanie glared at him, any amusement gone from her face

"I was wondering how long we could go before that would come up."

"Well I was just thinking how _appropriate _it was that only cold stone and metal could find it's way into _your _heart" Jack muttered darkly, wanting to hurt her the way she'd hurt him all those years ago.

Before the conversation could go any further however, Tosh stirred and opened sleepy eyes. Jack pulled his face away from Apanie's, having been unaware of getting back up into her personal space, but before he turned to walk away the glittering in her jade-green eyes didn't go unnoticed. He felt like a right shit at that moment and he wished he could apologise and make things better, take it all back.

"What's going on?" Tosh asked in a soft croaky voice "How long have I been asleep?"

"About three hours" Apanie whispered, watching Jack from below lowered lashes, like she was suddenly ashamed of herself.

"Did you get anywhere with the hieroglyphs?" Tosh asked, standing up and stretching, then refocusing on Jack and Apanie. Apanie broke eye contact with her oldest friend and turned to Tosh with a grin.

Jack was almost shocked at how quickly her demeanour changed, although he silently acknowledged to himself that he, more than anyone else, should know the hold that these things had over this woman. Cursing himself he left the main hold, returning to his room to fret the rest of the night away, plagued by thoughts of Apanie's hurt gaze and to ponder the validity of his final statement.

"So I figured out how to turn it on!" Apanie's full attention was back on the Australian artifact. Toshiko watched in fascinated silence as Apanie picked up the object and suddenly all the hieroglyphs lit up. Apanie met the gaze of the Japanese woman

"Cool huh?"

"Is that the educated response?" Toshiko laughed her question into the air.

The little object's lights flashed green with each word and the two women's eyes went wide.

"Whoa!" Apanie said as she slowly placed the little pyramid back on the desk between the two of them. Looking up at Apanie, Tosh asked

"Could it be measuring sound waves?"

"Well, I guess it could be. But what would the point be in that? Unless it's like a tiny alien Echelon device?"

"Could it be storing all of the audible data for later use perhaps?" Tosh endeavoured and Apanie nodded

"Look I'm not a scientist, but I have been working on the glyphs and they're not all from the one written language. I'm thinking that each little glyph is actually a representation of a different language system"

"So could the device be collecting verbal data for later use? Like a tape recorder"

"I honestly don't know at this stage. Could you run some tests? I know you wanted to do it earlier but I really wanted to get a handle on the hieroglyphs, you know?" Apanie slid the little pyramid closer to Toshiko who gingerly picked it up, her eyes lit up at the prospect of figuring out the science behind the little device…once she figured out what it did of course. Apanie watched the other woman with curiousity, wondering if her face lit up like that whenever she was presented with a new artifact or anthropological find.

She desperately wanted to figure out this new find, excited that it was found by her expedition and because it had allowed her a reason to find Captain Jack Harkness again.

It briefly crossed her mind that she wouldn't have needed a reason, he would have been pleased to see her no matter what; but she'd never looked back to see the look on his face, she'd been all too consumed with her own interests and when they'd said goodbye and she'd seen the tears in his eyes, she'd still walked away without looking back.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, Apanie looked back to Toshiko only to find that the woman was gone. There were shuffling sounds coming from a room off to the side, so Apanie assumed that Tosh was already setting about to figure out what the little pyramid device did, other than sit there and flash pretty blue and green lights.

She sighed deeply, running a hand through her hair and then pulling it loose from the hair-band she'd tied it back with earlier. Looking around the facility she couldn't quite figure out where she was supposed to sleep. Doubts about coming here began to surface more readily and she suddenly felt extremely tired. She groaned softly and slumped down into a nearby chair, startling moments later at the sound of a door slamming from above her.

Looking up she noted that Jack was back up in his office, sitting at his desk, feet up with a glass of what looked like brandy. Sighing again, she heaved herself off the chair and made her way up to his office.

Her soft knock on the door went unanswered, so she let herself in. Before she could speak, Jack's voice reached her

"I'm sorry Apanie. You know I didn't really mean those things"

"Yes you did Jack. I try to understand you, I really do. I know you try to understand me too…you will in time. We have an eternity Jack, what's 60 years? Give me time, don't rush me…I'm not like you" her voice took on a slightly pleading tone which she hated. Jack still hadn't faced her but she could see him give a small nod

"We can't have this conversation here Apanie" his voice cracked on her name and she approached him quickly, placing a hand on his shoulder and spinning his chair around so that he was forced to face her. She leaned closer to him, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. Her angry glare softened when she watched as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. Cursing herself again for forgetting the impact she had on him, she slowly let go of him and back off. He sighed audibly as she pulled herself out of his personal space.

"Jack, you're my oldest friend" she told him seriously, eliciting a half-laugh from him "I don't want us to be like this. I want us to get past this. Isn't 60 years long enough?"

"You said we had an eternity" he reminded her

"Are you going to avoid me for eternity? Just because I won't kiss you Jack? Because if that's all it'll take for us to get past this then kiss me now because I've missed you and I don't want to be away from you for another 60 years!"

And suddenly Jack was out of his seat, in her personal space, backing her up against the wall. Lips so close to hers that she could taste his breath, thick with brandy, his heart was pounding beneath the hand she'd placed between them. Smoothing her hand up his chest to his shoulder she parted her lips slightly, flicking her eyes up to gaze at him as he blundered across this barrier between them.

"I won't kiss you against your will Apanie" he grated out "I want you to want it, want me, the way I've always wanted you" and then his heat and his body were gone, across the room, putting a desk and a chair and filing cabinet and anything else he could find between them.

Feedback encouraged. I need to know if I ought to bother continuing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3. Jack and Apanie try to make headway with their issues.

AN ETERNITY: Chapter 3

Apanie watched Jack from her side of the room. It looked like a stand-off, but worse than that, it felt like one. She desperately wanted to hold him to her and assure him that everything was ok, that his heart wasn't really breaking and that she didn't mean to do this to him; she didn't want this between them. The part of her fighting the urge to show such compassion won out again however, like it always did. Her sagging shoulders slowly squared themselves and the shock on her face slowly faded to her usual calm determination. A lock of curly black hair hung away from the rest of the black curls, gently framing the rosy cheek on her otherwise pale features, and the green eyes that had darkened and now held a fierceness that took the rest of Jack's breath away.

Standing across the room from her Jack sucked in air in shaky gasps. His jaw was clenched and his eyes had lightened to an almost unnatural blue hue. His hands were balled at his sides and he watched her watching him, feeling much more like a caged animal than the strong, confident man he usually was. He berated himself internally for allowing another person do this to him, he was normally the one causing these reactions in others! And oh, how unfair it was that it was this woman who could bring him to his knees with a smile and the brush of a hand on his arm.

Apanie could see the myriad of emotions crossing his face. She mused that maybe she should tell him how sorry she was that, while she loved him desperately, she just didn't seem to be able to feel attracted to him. She considered long ago that if anyone could make her want them, it would be Captain Jack Harkness; with those blue eyes and that slow, contagious smile she was sure at one stage, that if he'd turned those eyes and that smile her way she would melt into his arms and never want to be apart from him again.

When the day finally came however, and those blue eyes fixed on her and he'd smiled, run a hand through her hair and leaned in to kiss her, she'd backed away. She sighed inaudibly as she remembered she'd done more than back away, she'd all but run screaming from the room. Talk about hurting a man's ego! And she'd convinced herself that Jack would get over it. Jack, with his many conquests on so many planets; Jack, with all the self-confidence and charm to have any number of lovers on the go at one time; Jack, so self-assured and self-aware that he would realise that she wasn't anyone special, wasn't anyone to bother with, and would move on. That was the way it was supposed to be. When she'd left him to investigate a new paleoanthropological find in Africa, he was supposed to remember her only as a friend, perhaps think fondly of their time together.

It was a huge cosmic joke that the only two immortals on Earth should find each other, fall in love, and never be together. One so highly sexualized whilst the other shrank from it and indeed felt almost repulsed by the very thought it. Loving each other had never been the problem, Apanie acknowledged. She wanted to go weak at the knees like Gwen seemed to when she looked at Jack, and she wanted to be connected to him like she assumed Ianto was. She wanted to feel what Tosh felt when she'd watched Owen leave work last night, however unrequited. Frustrated with herself she let out a low frustrated groan and sank to the floor, resting her head on her knees.

Taken aback by the sudden change in her demeanor, Jack took a few minutes to collect himself and then approached her slowly, sinking to the ground beside her and mirroring her position.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours, until Apanie lifted her head and looked at him

"Jack…you know I love you…right?" she asked him softly, hestitantly. He didn't look up. She didn't venture on, unsure of his reaction to this statement. Was it ambiguous? Would he really comprehend what she was telling him? She was sure he knew that she was in love with him…didn't he?

"I know App" he replied softly, interrupting her troubled thoughts. She shifted so that she was kneeling beside him, her knees touching his thigh. She placed a hand on his knee by his hand and urged him to raise his head and look at her.

"Jack, you know I love you. You know I'm _in _love with you don't you? You must have known all these years that I've loved you more than anyone else" her eyes searched his, hoping to find a reassuring answer in them. None was forthcoming as she realized he hadn't known the depth of her feelings. His eyes lit up before hers as a new dawn of understanding spread through his mind. He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again when he realized he hadn't quite enough brain-cells left who were not celebrating this new understanding, to form a coherent sentence. Misreading him, Apanie scrambled to her feet and hurried out of his office, mumbling an apology quickly before shutting the door behind her.

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**Feedback please. I promise Ianto and the rest of the team will appear in the next chapter. I can't write a fic without a little Ianto!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Ianto confronts Jack about Apanie. Apanie goes missing, and Gwen is surprised when Jack opens up to her.

I'm so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. I was doing so well with releasing one each day. My excuse is that this is a really long chapter AND it was ALL typed up on a Palm Treo 750. I start at uni on Monday and have had orientation this week, so please feel free to blame my university for pulling me away from my laptop and interesting, happy little Torchwood world.

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AN ETERNITY Chapter 4 

Sequestered away in his bedroom again, Jack didn't look up when the door opened. Softly masculine footsteps fell, echoing off the walls and the bitter-sweet scent of rich arabica beans filled the air. Breathing in deeply he smiled up as Ianto presented him with a hot cup of coffee.

"Thankyou Ianto"

"You look like hell…Jack" his name fell from Ianto's lips in an almost whisper, indicating the intimacy in the mundane gesture.

"I'm ok" he assured the man standing over him.

"It would appear otherwise" Ianto replied, taking a seat on the bed next to Jack.

"Who is she Jack?" he asked quietly and Jack growled whilst sending him a glare out of the corner of his eyes.

"She's a nightmare, that's who she is. A nightmare that keeps coming back and screwing with my head."

"You might have asked her to leave" Ianto suggested

"We want the technology. She wouldn't let me have it without letting her work on it with us."

"We could have used retcon, or an amnesia pill? Made her forget about the technology."

"It doesn't work on her. Nothing works on her. Nothing effects or affects her Ianto. The woman drives me insane."

Ianto watched Jack closely for signs of what his relationship to this woman may have been. It seemed however, that Jack was struggling with the same thing himself. Ianto could almost feel the frustration radiating off the man he loved. He placed a hand gently on Jack's thigh and turned more fully to face him on the bed

"Is she human?" Jack looked quickly at him and then away to the wall again

"Yes" Jack replied simply

"…do you love her?" Ianto's question was rushed and he shut his eyes so that he didn't have to see Jack's face when he heard. Jack turned and grabbed Ianto's face

"_Yes…_but it doesn't mean anything"

The statement confused Ianto, how could his love mean nothing? Did it mean nothing to him? Or did it mean nothing to her? His brain couldn't quite comprehend how loving someone could mean nothing. His brow was creased with consternation as Jack leaned forward to rest his forehead against Ianto's. Still with a hand on his neck, Jack shook his head against the other mans briefly. He gulped audibly and breathed in deeply before muttering darkly

"I want her out of the Hub"

And then he was off the bed and out the door, leaving Ianto stunned and affected by the clearly intimate but ever-more confusing situation that had presented itself.

* * *

Jack had gone in search of Apanie, readying himself to kick her out of the Hub and out of his life. Tired of fighting her on everything, tired of fighting to take their relationship further; she gave him nothing, nothing but grief and confusion and a gut-wrenchingly ill feeling in the bottom of his stomach. She refused to give into him and it was infuriatingly…attractive, he admitted in defeat to himself.

Entering the main area of the Hub he found Gwen and Owen had arrived and were enjoying a morning coffee with Toshiko. The three of them were laughing about something, but Jack wasn't looking for them and his eyes flicked around the area in search of Apanie. He couldn't find her anywhere and his heart plummeted as he realized she may have left. He wrestled internally with the fact that he was, in fact, searching for her in order to tell her to leave. But if she'd left of her own accord it would be another slap in the face for him to bear, and frankly he was tired of losing in this game they were playing. He felt constantly at a loss and out of step.

"Hey Toshiko, you know where Apanie went?" Jack called as he grabbed his coat

"No, I didn't know she'd gone" Tosh replied, hopping off her stool and heading back to her seat in front of the computer monitors

"Do you want me to pull up the CCTV images for the last few hours?" the images were up and Toshiko had tracked the Australian woman before Jack was out the door

"She went into the park about 6 blocks away. No sign of her since then. And Jack? Can you let her know that I think I figured out what the device may do?"

Jack looked torn between finding out what Tosh knew and going to find Apanie. His curiousity won out and he walked back over to Tosh

"Show me" he told her.

But when Tosh turned to the desk where she'd left the little pyramid device she couldn't find it. Her hands scrambled over the desk, shifting papers and swiping pens and a digital camera out of the way. She finally turned wide eyes to Jack

"It's not here. Apanie must have taken it"

"Of course she did" Jack huffed out, rolling his eyes and all but running for the exit.

Once Jack had left Gwen, Owen and Toshiko looked at each other in silence.

Tosh forced a small smile onto her face and tried to sound perky

"I suppose we ought to get to work then" she said, looking from Gwen to Owen

"Yes, that is what she should do" Owen agreed

"Work _is _very important" Gwen added as Ianto appeared

"We could figure out who she is" he offered quietly.

The four of them were close and acutely aware of the fact that their boss was a complete mystery to them. They all looked at each other for a few brief moments before surging into action.

Half an hour later they found themselves sitting quietly around the conference table with a single open file in front of them.

Ianto was going about making coffee and trying desperately to ignore the contents of the file.

Spread out the desk where a few old black and white photo's of Apanie in her 'younger days'. There, staring Ianto in the face was all the evidence he needed to figure out why love meant nothing. A single photo was worth a thousand words and Ianto's heart broke when he came across the picture of Jack and Apanie. It was a candid shot; a rarity in those days when cameras were only just becoming the property of average people.

"Well she's certainly aged well" commented Toshiko

"I wonder which anti-aging cream she uses" Owen quipped, eliciting a snort of laughter from Gwen.

"He obviously loved her very much" Toshiko noted softly, brushing a hand over the photo of Jack and Apanie. Gwen looked away quickly as a dull ache errupted in her heart, wishing not for the first time, that Jack would look at her so adoringly.

From his spot behind Owen, Ianto surveyed the photo again. There they were; 1945, the war was finally over and they appeared to be in the midst of the celebrations. Apanie was bent over, bright eyed and laughing intop the camera. Jack slightly behind and to the side with his arms around her waist. He was staring at her with a small smile and obvious pure depth of feeling. She didn't seem to have any idea, Ianto mused, wondering again at the prospect of someone actually not being completely and utterly attracted to, and returning the love, of Captain Jack Harkness.

* * *

Six blocks away, Jack found himself nearly running through the park in search of Apanie. He couldn't figure out where she might have gone, there was little more than a stone water fountain and a few bench seats in the entire park. Touching his ear-piece, he activated a direct communication link to the Hub.

"Tosh, you there?"

"I'm here Jack" he heard Toshiko reply after a brief moment that wasn't quite short enough to prevent impatience surging through his body.

"Anything on Apanie yet?" he grated out, frowning at the empty park around him as he turned in a wide, slow circle. He wanted to call her name out into the emptiness. He _knew _she was there, but he also knew from past experience that if she was preoccupied with the artifact, or anything else for that matter, she wouldn't reply. He could feel her presence somewhere around him, the small prickling along the back of his neck that he got whenever she was around let him know she was near. A niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach also made him doubt whether she would bother replying if she heard him. He didn't know what frame of mind she'd been in when she'd fled the Hub. He couldn't even be sure that she'd fled, or if she'd calmly grabbed the artifact and walked out the door too absorbed in her intellectual curiosity to fully realise what she was doing. He'd seen her do it before when she was thinking hard; she'd wander in front of a car, or stray to close to the edge of a cliff, or frustrate him so badly that he honestly considered himself a danger to the innocent naivete that seemed to have subsided somewhat over the years they'd been apart.

"No, sorry Jack. Do you want us to see what we can do?" Toshiko asked

"No, you all have too much to do without running around after her" he told her sharply, clicking off the communication device as soon as he'd finished talking.

Turning his face to the sky with his eyes closed, he breathed in the fresh air deeply a few times before deciding to head back to the Hub. Apanie obviously had no intention of being around him, or anyone else apparently, and she would only appear again once she'd sorted out her own thoughts and feelings in regard to the artifact, and he hoped, him.

* * *

"He can't find her" Toshiko informed the other members of the Torchwood team.

"Do you think she left?" Gwen asked Toshiko. Tosh shook her head. It was natural, she mused, that the others would think of her as the expert on Apanie Bara, after all, it was she who had spent most of the night with the newcomer. Tosh hadn't the heart to admit that she'd fallen asleep and it was, in fact, Apanie who had learned a great deal more about the artifact than she had. Besides that, Apanie hadn't taken any of her belongings, Toshiko was sure of it. Aside from the small pyramid, nothing else appeared to be missing.

"He'll be back soon" Ianto cautioned, knowing full well that if Jack couldn't find her on his own he'd come back to the Hub and work from there.

"We should really get some work done then" Gwen said.

A few hours later Jack entered the Hub. Ianto grabbed his long military coat before it hit the ground, watching him storm up to his office without talking to anyone. The others watched him out of the corners of their eyes, none of them liking what was happening to their boss.

Ianto stood there briefly looking mildly defeated before busying himself making coffee for everyone. When he offered Gwen her coffee she grabbed it with a smile and then grabbed Jack's mug too

"I'll sort it out Ianto, right?" she added another affectionate smile and headed up to Jack's office with both cups of coffee. Jack, she considered, was something special. Who knew exactly how far he'd been, what he'd seen and only God knew how many people he'd loved and been with…let alone alien beings. Gwen smirked slightly as she realized God may actually have lost track of all of Jack's lovers over the years, there was no doubt in her mind however, that Jack remembered each and every single one of them. She knew about Jack and Ianto. She just kept telling herself that she had Rhys, she had made her choice long before joining Torchwood and no matter how charming and how attractive Jack was, she was never going to be an option for him…not matter how much she may want to be. Ianto, stoic as ever, was holding it together well. Gwen had watched him closely the day before, watched as he'd struggled silently with Apanie's presence and the need to know exactly how close Jack and this woman had been…or still were. The tension between Jack and Apanie was palpable and Gwen was certain that Ianto was torn between maintaining a professional distance and wanting to demand an answer from Jack. She wasn't entirely sure how deep the feelings between Ianto and Jack were, but she was sure that their relationship meant a lot to the both of them, however much they tried to keep it a secret. While her heart ached to know that she wasn't an option for Jack, she had a fierce loyalty to the man, and to the other members of her Torchwood family.

She kicked a foot against Jack's closed office door, alerting him to the fact that she was there an unable to open it herself due to the coffee in each hand. When he looked to see who it was he jumped up and opened the door for her, grabbing a cup of coffee and attempting to shut the door on her again. She placed her newly freed hand on the door and gave it a rough shove to keep it open and then slipped under Jack's arm and into his office.

"Gwen" he ground out in warning

"No Jack, you're not going to get out of this like you normally do." Gwen told him harshly, taking a seat on his desk as he returned to his seat.

"You're sitting on my paperwork" he told her

"You won't be needing it while we're talking" she replied. He sighed and rested his head in his hands as he leant his elbows on the desk in front of him. Gwen took a small sip of her coffee and then set it to the side, turning slightly she gently rubbed his back

"C'mon Jack, this is really getting to you. It's impacting the team too"

"I'm sorry"

"It's hurting Ianto too, Jack." She ventured, unsurprised when he reached a hand back over his shoulder and grabbed onto her hand.

"I wish she didn't get to me the way she did" he apologetically told her

"Who is she Jack?" Gwen asked very softly in a placating voice, not really expecting an answer. When Jack spoke again however, she was pleasantly surprised

"I met her about 60 years ago in Australia. It was just before the end of World War II"

-Flashback-

_Captain Jack Harkness had seen a lot of beautiful women in his time. He'd seen a lot of beautiful men too. The woman before him, however, was not quite the personification of beauty. In fact, Jack was quite sure that she wasn't the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen; she was far, far from it. She was the friend of a friend. Short black curls that hung to shoulder length, bright jade-green eyes, full lips and a dull, pale complexion broken up by two rosy cheeks. She wasn't thin, but she wasn't fat. She certainly wasn't tall. For the most part, Jack was sure that she wasn't someone that was of any interest to him. She was of Aboriginal descent, despite her white appearance, accepted only because she was white and the Australian government had 'successfully bred the Aboriginal out of her'. She was of the Gubbi Gubbi (people of salt-water territory) and still held tight to her heritage, fascinated by the way it linked her with the land, her ancestors and time. The way she spoke to him - with hushed tones, flushed skin and wide, bright eyes - of her heritage and her ambition to preserve the ways of her people; the passion within her, the internal fire that seemed to fuel her every action; her complete innocence and naivete that seemed to stem not from lack of experience but from a child-like interest in the world around her and being completely oblivious to people's intentions or expectations of her; she fascinated him and over the space of a few months he came to realise that this woman was perhaps the most beautiful creature he'd ever had the fortune to come across. There was something to be said for the theory that a beautiful soul could often transform the outer body if one could only look hard enough. _

_Looking for her one evening he'd found her sitting up on the top boughs of a wattle tree, it's small, puffy yellow flowers had left bright yellow pollen sprinkled through her hair and over her clothing. He'd laughed up into the tree_

"_How old are you again?" he'd asked_

"_I'll be 24 forever" she'd replied exuberantly, stretching her hands to the sky and giggling. Raising his eyebrows, Jack had chuckled_

"_24 forever, really?" _

"_Yes, 24 forever and ever"_

"_That's a mighty long time" he'd told her a little more seriously_

"_I know" she sounded almost subdued before reaching out a hand to him_

"_Come up, talk to me"_

_He'd looked at the branches of the tree and figured they were sturdy enough. He felt immature and childish climbing into the boughs of a tree when he was…well he'd lost count of how old he was now. When he'd settled himself close to her in the tree she leaned forward_

"_Tell me your biggest secret Jack?" she asked enquiringly, obviously not expecting him to tell her. Leaning forward to place his face mere millimeters from hers he whispered_

"_I can't die"_

_She snorted out a laugh that would later remind him somewhat of Gwen's, but at that moment startled him to hear such an unladylike sound_

"_Neither can I" she giggled. He thought she was making fun of him so he reiterated _

"_No Appy, I really can't die"_

"_Ok Jack. Neither can I"_

"_Apanie!" Jack was frustrated that she didn't believe him, never mind the fact that it really was quite unbelievable._

"_Jack!" and she'd thrown herself out of the tree and landed at the most horrific angle over a large boulder at its base._

_He screamed her name and jumped from the tree, coat flying out behind him. He thought years later that he must have looked quite like a very handsome super-hero leaping in to rescue a damsel in distress. Except the damsel was dead and his heart was pounding and the blood was rushing past his ears whilst tears streamed from his eyes._

"_Oh God, no no no" he repeated over and over again, holding Apanie in his arms, stroking her face and her hair and pulling her to him. _

"_I can't die Jack" her voice whispered hoarsely, and later she'd teased him about how he'd yelped like a little girl when she'd wrapped her arms around him._

"_Hell of a way to prove a point" he told her a few months later when they were on their way to Africa after the war had ended. She was excited about a new proto-human find in Africa that a friend had written to her about. Jack had decided to accompany her on the ship to Africa, finding it hard to part with her. They'd shared a bed on the ship, Apanie wasn't at all concerned about her reputation, but people assumed that they were married anyway; not that Jack minded, or did anything to correct them. In fact the way that he watched her, and the way she met his gaze every now and then, only helped to fuel the assumption._

_She spent every night pouring over notes and letters, oblivious to him watching her for hours on end. She'd chatter away to him as though he understood what she was saying and the things she was referring to. They danced together on the deck under the stars, so clear back then, in the middle of the ocean surrounded by the inky blankness of night. Holding her close to him, eyes closed, he'd murmured how much he loved her, thrilled to hear the soft whispered reply sighing past his ear in return, felt her arms tighten around him as she pressed herself closer._

_He nuzzled the side of her face, trailing gentle kisses from her ear towards her lips_

"_Jack…please. We're in public" she'd rushed out on a breath, pulling back from him. He'd looked closely at her, noticing that she didn't look in the least flushed like he himself felt sure he must look. Ever the gentleman he'd accompanied her back to their cabin where she'd stayed up most of the night reading a book and barely giving him a second glance._

_The second time a chance to kiss her arose was in a room they were sharing in Africa. She was upset about…something – even later he'd still question what it was – and he was comforting her. In his arms again she was sniffling and chastising herself for being so weak, so much like a 'girl'. He'd been half-amused and half-concerned with her rambled mutterings. _

"_Thanks Jack" she said as she kissed him on the cheek. He'd cupped both hands around her face and stared into her eyes_

"_I love you App. You are not weak…you are most __**definitely**__ a woman though" he told her with a charmingly teasing smile that she returned shyly. _

_As his smile faded he began to lean in towards her, watching her eyes slip closed and her breathing become shallow. His heart was pounding so loudly and wildly that he was sure she could hear it. As he slowly inched closer his entire body felt like it was on fire, finally, finally, finally after all these months he was finally going to claim this woman as his._

_And suddenly she was pulling away and standing up, the look on her face was panicked and her eyes were wide with shock and sadness_

"_I can't I can't I can't. I'm sorry Jack, I can't" she said repeatedly, fleeing from the room after wrenching herself free of his grasp._

_Still sitting on the bed he groaned in frustration. What in the hell was wrong with her? Why was she leading him on? He wanted so much to be angry at her, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't really about him._

"_Jack, I love you" she told him quietly a couple of weeks later. Their room was quiet and he was standing in the doorway watching her pack some books into her leather satchel. When she'd finished she turned to him_

"_You know I love you don't you Jack?" _

"_Of course I do App" he'd told her, opening his arms to her. She'd launched herself into them_

"_I'm going away Jack and you can't follow me. You're a distraction and I need to be able to concentrate on my work"_

"_What about us? We were destined to be together" he told her, pushing her back to arms length and looking intently into her eyes, watching for any sign that she was wavering. Her tears said it all and he'd allowed himself to mirror the emotion as he pulled her back into him and kissed the top of her head once, twice, three times "Don't leave me App, please"_

"_I'm sorry" she told him through her tears "my work…it's all I have…it's all that matters" and she'd pulled away and pushed past him._

_He ran after her, following her to the edge of the village they were staying in. She hadn't turned around when he called her, but every now and then he saw her swipe at her face. He knew she was crying, he was sure of it. But she never once looked back and at the edge of the village he stopped and watched her walk off into the desert, her satchel and a single water bottle her only possessions. He briefly considered that a part of him had just died, and he resolved to bury the feelings he had for her so deeply that she would become just a distant memory of an almost-future._

-End Flashback-

"Jesus Jack" Gwen breathed out, blinking back tears.

"So there you have it"

"She's the love of your life" Gwen said

"Well I wouldn't go that far" Jack hesitated to confirm her assumption.

"I would! Jack, you have got to do something about her! You have to sort this out. For yourself and Ianto, and no doubt Apanie."

"I know that" he snapped at her, standing up and heading to the liqueur tray to pour himself a brandy. His coffee was discarded and forgotten. He downed a mouthful and turned to her, resolutely deciding to have things out with Apanie. Fate had decided a long time ago that they were meant to be together, he decided, but Apanie had fought against it, and him. Well no more! He owed it to himself, and certainly to Ianto and Apanie, to sort this out once and for all.

Gwen saw the determination settle in his features and smiled, patting his arm

"You're a good man Jack. You'll do the right thing"

"What if she doesn't?" he asked stiltedly and Gwen smirked

"Jack, sometimes you aren't the right thing to do" she quipped, earning a smirk for her effort.

"Get back to work" he commanded in mock-fury.

Gwen grinned and headed for the door, turning when she reached it she said

"I'm always here if you need to talk Jack" and then she was gone, back down to join the rest of the team as they worked through lunch, and then afternoon tea. By 8pm, Jack was left alone in the Hub, and he had become increasingly worried about Apanie.

* * *

Feedback please? This chapter was seriously hard to write, and not just because of the Treo. I had to give Jack and Apanie a back story without writing another 10 chapters on them. 


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, this story is getting much longer than I anticipated. I will be trying to wrap it up soon.

Song in this chapter is called "Where I Stood" by a wonderful Australian artist called Missy Higgins.

Please read and review. It's always welcome, including any constructive criticism.

* * *

She hadn't gone far. Once at the park she'd scrambled up the nearest tree, put on her earphones and hit the play button on her ipod. One reason to live forever was to see the invention of new technology, she acknowledged with a wry smile. Taking the small pyramid out of her pocket she balanced herself expertly in the top boughs of the tree and sat pondering the alien device she held in her hands.

It briefly crossed her mind that she was a grown woman and she shouldn't be sitting in a tree, but she'd always felt safe in a tree, hidden by the leaves, connected to nature and the natural world. Jack had always laughed at her childishness, despite the fact that it was one of the things that endeared her to him. She knew she should care more what people thought of her, she knew that it should matter what they expected and how they wanted her to act, who they wanted her to date and who they thought she should be. She didn't care though, and she had always been acutely aware of just how abnormal that made her. Shrugging off her concerns she lost herself in her thoughts.

She didn't know how long it had been before she realized that he'd come to the park looking for her. It figures he'd have the ability to track her, and the will. CCTV or not, she figures he would have tracked her to here anyway. Removing her earphones she listened to his footsteps as they turned in slow circles just out of her sight. She half expected him to call her name, and half expected that she might drop out of the tree and assure him that she was alright.

On the other hand, he was a complete bastard and she was upset about what had transpired in his office. She wasn't really ready to confront the issues between them. How silly she had been to think that coming to him for help was a good idea. How had she convinced herself that he would have forgotten her? How could he possibly still feel as strongly about her as he did all those years ago?

Perhaps she should have let him kiss her…maybe she might have felt something.

Her heart twisted, as it always did, with the acknowledgment of her incompleteness. She wanted to believe that it was a side effect of the bracelet she wore, a side effect of her immortality, but deep down she knew that it was no side effect, it was who she was. Accepting herself was one thing, but the knowledge of her own brokenness was unbearable some days. She tried to push the thoughts from her mind but they weren't so easily ignored these days, especially where Jack was concerned. How she wanted to give him what he so desired of her, how she longed to be able to look at him and feel the heat and longing that she'd read about in so many stories over the years. Those stories of love and sex and wanting and needing; those stories that caused so much confusion, heartache and longing for normalcy within her. She knew she ought to feel it, ought to want it, ought to be able to give it.

She'd stayed in the tree, hidden from his view, deciding that her current thoughts might make her to weak to fight with him over anything, let alone putting up any sort of fight if he tried anything with her. She figured the thought of it should send her heart racing and make her stomach flip-flop...but neither of those things happened. She considered then, not for the first time, that she was dead inside. The thought made her achingly sad and consumed her mind for the rest of the day as she battled the demons she was almost sure she'd never conquer.

He'd left the park after searching for her for, what she thought was, a short period of time. She'd caught sight of him briefly, taking in the slumped shoulders and his entirely dejected appearance. It was unfair to do this to him, and she resolved to that it was about time she rallied the fix their relationship...even if it meant leaving him forever.

She'd always loved the night sky. Clear and sparkling with stars, or cloudy and lit up with lightning, Apanie didn't care. Tonight, the sky was dark and ominous, the distant rumbling alerted her to an approaching storm and she reveled in the way the wind whipped her hair around her face.

She considered for a long moment that there was something to be said for immortality, as she stood looking out over the city of Cardiff. She imagined that Jack must have done the same thing a million times before her, he had a thing for roofs.

The soft, faint sounds of music floated up from her ipod earphones where the device lay beside her on the ledge.

_I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun  
But something told me to run  
And honey you know me it's all or none _

There were sounds in my head  
Little voices whispering  
That I should go and this should end  
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cos she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white  
That it was wrong or it was right  
But you ain't leaving without a fight  
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cos she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood 

Stretching her arms and turning her face up towards the stars, she perched precariously on the edge. The rush she felt from being so close to falling was as close to life, and ultimately death, as she could get. There was something about this time of night that made her feel reckless and free; like she finally belonged somewhere; a creature of the night.

Footsteps fell behind her and she could feel every muscle in her body tense before turning her head to look over her shoulder. Her brow creased with confusion as she realized that she recognized the shadowy figure behind her.

"What are you doing up here?" she asked in a rough voice

"I was looking for Jack. Sometimes he comes here"

"Huh…figures!" she muttered, lowering her arms and jumping backwards off the ledge.

"Why are you here?"

"I like roofs" Apanie replied blithely with a shrug of her shoulders.

The wind picked up around them and blew her hair across her eyes, she didn't attempt to move it.

"No…why are you here?"

"I needed help with the artifact" Apanie's tone of voice changed and she sounded sad

"Is that all?"

"Yes…I didn't think Jack would find my being here so difficult. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I thought we'd moved past it…don't Ianto…please don't let Jack know where I am just yet" Apanie pleaded as Ianto raised his hand to the communication device on his ear. He hesitated and then lowered his hand back to his side.

With enquiring eyes on her he edged passed her to sit on the ledge, hands folded in his lap. A few moments ticked by quietly as Apanie tried to gage what her reaction to his presence here should be. Finally she made the decision to perch on the ledge next to him, facing the opposite way though, and letting her legs dangle over the edge.

"Do you love him?" Ianto asked her after a few minutes

"Yes" Apanie admitted

"I see"

"No you don't" Apanie told him her eyes hard as they met his

"..." he opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again when he felt her hand on is arm

"I can't love him the way he needs to be loved...the way you can love him"

"I don't understand" Ianto searched her eyes to try and gain some insight.

Apanie had no answers for him however, and turned her face from him, her voice was low and monotone as she tried to explain

"Jack loves to flirt and, well, you know..." she made a vague gesture

"I do know" Ianto replied with a semi-smirk. Apanie rolled her eyes and let out a half giggle

"See, I know I should be jealous of this thing between you...but I'm not...I don't know. Maybe it's altruistic? I know I can't be that to him so I think he should find companionship elsewhere…"

"Why can't you?" Ianto asked enquiringly. Apanie shrugged and met his eyes briefly before looking away again, almost ashamed of what she was about to admit

"…I'm not like everyone else. I don't have any…urge to be with anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I love the intimacy of the friendship that Jack and I share, and I feel beautiful and attractive and loved when I'm around him. I just, well, I just don't have the inclination to do anything with him. Or anyone for that matter."

"Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet" Ianto supplied most unhelpfully, discouraged when she snorted in a dismayed half laugh

"You're not understanding me. I don't want to feel that way either. I seems so…foreign to me."

"But?"

"But…then there's Jack. And I want to want him, like you want him, and like Gwen wants him. Like Toshiko wants Owen, and like everyone else in the world wants someone."

Ianto shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Gwen's feelings for Jack, knowing that to a degree they were reciprocated. Apanie noticed the movement and laid a reassuring hand on his arm

"He chose you" she murmured

"Only because Gwen is already taken" Ianto voiced the thought that had caused him so much inner conflict in recent months. Apanie reached out again and grabbed his face, turning it towards her to make sure he was meeting her gaze and couldn't look away as she spoke to him

"What do you have beyond Torchwood Ianto? Do you have family? Friends? I've watched you quietly go about your business, looking after everyone and waiting on them. Cleaning up after them. Is Jack your whole world? If he chose Gwen, if Gwen was free to live and love whomever she chose, if you lost Jack, what do you have beyond him?"

Ianto gazed into the green eyes of the woman he wanted to dislike and found himself mesmerized by the flickers of hazel and gold reflected in them. He drew in a shaky breath

"I…I have a sister, and a niece, Eliza. She, she's like a daughter to me."

"Does Jack know about Eliza?"

"No…we don't talk about things like that." Ianto admitted softly

"Do you want to?"

Ianto thought for a moment, feeling somewhat bereft as her hand left his face and settled again in her own lap.

"No…no I don't want that. Not with Jack. Jack is separate from everything else." Ianto told her with a dawn of understanding flickering through his brain. His mouth gaped slightly as a small 'oh' whispered out from between his lips. Apanie smiled warmly at him

"Jack's my dearest friend Ianto. I want to be able to talk to him about anything and everything, the way I always have. I don't want to share his bed, if I can't share my life with him."

"But you're not attracted to him" Ianto repeated the information

"Sacrifices can be made…you never know. Sometimes things that are broken can be mended" Apanie replied

"Are you broken Apanie?" Ianto asked sincerely. Apanie tilted her head to the side as she considered the question carefully once more. She gave a small, almost imperceptible nod of her head

"Some days I really think I am" she admitted quietly.

Ianto suddenly felt sorry for her. He wondered how it must feel to never have companionship and comfort from another person, in a world where relationships, sex and intimacy seemed to be forever forcefully shoved down people's throats. How strongly must she believe in her own incompleteness to keep Jack at arms length for so long.

Reaching out a hand in a tentative gesture, he took one of her hands in his. Moving off the ledge her gently tugged her onto the roof with him and then turned her to look out over the city alongside him. Shoulder to shoulder they stood, watching the lights flicker white and orange below them, the sky splitting and lighting up every few minutes with the lightning of the approaching storm.

"You might let Jack in a little" Ianto suggested, eyes closed as he uttered the most altruistic words he felt he'd ever said in his life. Apanie didn't look at him, and he didn't turn to her for her response.

"Do you really think so?" she asked him, her words been whipped around them by the wind.

"I do" Ianto replied, hoping the uncertainty in his heart wasn't conveyed in his voice.

"Aren't you scared that he'll choose me?" Apanie asked hesitantly

"Terrified" came the honest reply "but I want him to be happy"

"…I suppose you ought to let Jack know where I am then"

* * *

Please review. A lot of people have added this story to their alert lists, but I don't really know if anyone is enjoying it or if anyone likes Apanie. People's interest in her could impact on the end of the story... 


	6. Chapter 6

Right, ok. This is the final chapter. I hope that the people that like Apanie are happy with the way things turned out. And I hope that the people who like Jack/Ianto like the way things turned out.

The song contained in this chapter is called 'Unbroken' by Missy Higgins.

Thankyou so so so much to everyone who reviewed this story both publicly and privately, to those who added it to their alerts and to their favourites. It really means a lot to me that you've taken the time to do those things. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Now hopefully I can focus on university a bit better.

* * *

Ianto pulled his phone out of his pocket, opting to bypass the communication device in his ear. He watched Apanie as she stared out over the city, her hair flying wildly around her. He allowed himself a brief recognition of her unconventional beauty and mused, even more briefly, that she wasn't really Jack's 'type'. 

"Yes, Jack? I've found her" Ianto said as the phone was answered

"No Jack, she's fine. No, not angry. Yes, she's here. No, you can't talk to her. Ok, I'll let her know"

Apanie still didn't turn to look at him as he flipped the phone shut, ending the call.

"Jack's coming to get you"

"You didn't tell him where I was" she pointed out, but Ianto pointed to the comms device

"He can trace this. He'll be here soon. I…can't be here when he gets here."

"I know Ianto…thankyou. You're a good man" Apanie turned and smiled at him, laying a warm hand against the chilled flesh of his cheek "Anyone would be lucky to have you…I know Jack sees it too"

Ianto was touched by her sincerity, not doubting for a moment that she truly believed what she was saying. Her eyes conveyed and cemented her thoughts more clearly than her words ever could. He placed a hand on top of the one cupping his cheek, leaning into the touch briefly as he marveled at how quickly he had become at ease with her.

"Thankyou" he muttered gruffly, pulling away and quickly turning and striding away from her and through the door leading down into the building she was standing on.

When Jack arrived on the roof-top, he was more than a little annoyed to find it empty. Rubbing a hand over his face he once again cursed Apanie and grabbed his phone

"Ianto, she's not here" he growled angrily

"She was there when I left Jack. Maybe she went back to the Hub, she was starting to look cold" Ianto offered helpfully, hesitating slightly before the words rushed from his mouth "If you choose her Jack, I won't blame you. Be happy" and then he broke the connection leaving Jack standing on the roof with a stunned look on his face.

_

* * *

And inevitably, what we used to be will  
Succumb to the pull of gravity  
And you will never, no you will never see with virgin eyes again _

Cos this is the day that everything changes  
And your world stops turning, running straight,  
Into the break lights, you've come to nothing  
This is the day that everything changes and your worlds collide  
You know in time you'll wake to find you're a little unbroken 

The large cog-shaped door rolled open slowly to allow Jack to enter the Hub. Apanie was nowhere in sight and he headed up to his office to see if her things were still there. Opening the door, he noticed immediately that his desk was tidy and her leather satchel was missing. Annoyance surged through him as he realized she'd not only tidied his desk, but his entire office. She always had been a little anal, he acknowledged. Slumping down into his chair he placed his feet on his desk, tilting his head back to stare up at the roof. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted something hot pink stuck to the top of a file

J, BEDROOM? A

had been scrawled on a magenta coloured post-it note. Unbidden, images of Apanie lying provocatively across his bed wearing only a red negligee sprang to his mind. A small lewd smile crossed his face as strode quickly out of his office and towards his bedroom. The door was closed when he got there, soft music could be heard as he pushed it open to reveal the woman he'd been searching for all day. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. Her hair was mussed by the wind, her cheeks even rosier than usual after having been chilled by the night air, but still wearing the clothes she'd had on earlier. Her eyes met his with a glowing excitement. He crossed quickly to her, gathering her into a hug

"Thank God, I thought you'd left me again" he muttered, convinced she'd finally realized they were meant to be together, that she'd returned to be with him. She shook her head quickly and a wide grin spread itself over her flushed face.

He leaned closer to her, his eyes slipping closed, only to have his lips meet cold metal

"I figured it out!" she let out exuberantly, and he opened his eyes to see the little pyramid being thrust in front of his face.

"Oh my God!" he growled at her, pushing her away and swinging around so that his back was to her. Apanie looked puzzled for a moment before realisation hit her hard. She cursed under her breath and reached a hand out to lay on his back

"I'm sorry Jack…I was excited…I did come back to see you. On the way back I realized what this was, and it's amazing Jack. It's such an important find…" she trailed off as she watched, and felt, Jack's shoulders slump forward and he turned to fling himself down on his bed like a petulant child. Apanie paused for a moment, wondering how best to approach him. She sat gingerly on the edge of his bed and placed a hand on his knee

"It's important…but not as important as you" she told him softly, leaning back to place the pyramid on his bedside table. He watched her cautiously, wondering if she was serious

"What does it do?" he asked her, but she turned to smile at him and shook her head

"It doesn't matter right now. There are some things that you need to know about me, things that might make you understand things better"

Jack sat up and turned to face her, she mirrored his position. He bit down on the urge to giggle, imagining them as young school-girls getting ready to share stories and gossip about boys. She cocked an eyebrow at him quizzically as she took in his faint smirk, but he just shook his head.

"Now don't talk" she instructed as she took one of his hand in both of hers "I want you to know that I love you. I've been in love with you for over 60 years Jack…but I'm…I'm broken. I don't feel any attraction…there's no urge to do more than maybe kiss you…"

"You're not attracted to me at all?" Jack breathed out, unable to hide his utter disappointment at the revelation. He tried to snatch his hand away but she held tight

"Shhh, Jack. No, if I was ever going to be attracted to anyone, Jack, I swear it would be you. I just…it's not in me. There's no…biological urge…if you will" Apanie stumbled over her words, desperate to try to get him to understand that it was all her fault, and it had nothing to do with him.

"How is that possible?" Jack murmured, unsure if he believed her or if she was feeding him a line to let him down easily.

"I think…I'm broken. I'm dead inside" she whispered as her emotions got the better of her and tears surged into her eyes as she met his gaze, pleading silently with him to understand.

Jack stood suddenly and walked away from her, running a hand through his hair. He spun to face her, opened his mouth and then shut it, turning from her again and staring at the wall. Silence stretched out between them, deafening and agitating in its emptiness.

Apanie sniffed softly and swiped angrily at a tear that had escaped and made it way down her cheek. Jack turned and was kneeling before her before she could swipe away the next one. Reaching out, he gently brushed away the second stray tear, cupping her cheek and smiling tenderly at her as she pressed her face into his palm.

Leaning forward, he leant his forehead against hers, stroking her cheek gently with his fingers

"We could make it would Appy. I could live without –" her fingers on his lips hushed him as she shook her head and smiled through her tears

"No Jack, I'd never ask it of you. You are who you are" she whispered

"But you're who you are…I'd do anything for you" Jack told her softly.

"I know you would, and I love you for that" Apanie answered, just as softly. She raised both of her hands to cup his face and lifted her face to press a firm, swift kiss against his lips.

She'd intended to pull away quickly but his hands were suddenly holding her face to him, preventing her from following through with her departure. Gazing into his eyes her breath caught as they turned a darker shade of blue before they slipped shut. He let out a soft groan before opening his mouth and attempting to deepen the kiss. Something in her almost flickered to life and she let her eyes fall closed, opening her mouth to him. His hands moved to her hair, tangling his fingers through the long black tendrils, as his tongue edged its way into her mouth. Apanie moaned softly as her tongue met his in a slow, tender dance. She allowed herself to be pushed gently back onto the bed and wrapped her arms around Jack as he settled his body on top of hers, reveling in the hard, warm body pressed up against her. As his hands swept up her sides, creeping under her shirt she broke their kiss and stared up at him.

They were both breathing hard as they stared at each other. Jack let out a frustrated groan and rolled off her, flinging an arm over his eyes.

"Jesus" he cursed, turning his head sideways to watch her. She had a hand pressed against her lips as she stared up at the ceiling. She suddenly looked very small and fragile to him, not anything like the strong and vibrant woman that he normally thought of her as. Rolling onto his side her wrapped an arm around her waist and dropped a kiss on her still-clothed shoulder. His breathing had slowed, and she turned her head slightly to meet his gaze with a small smile

"Tell me you're not attracted to me now. Tell me you didn't feel anything" he told her with a cocky grin. Apanie took a moment to consider how best to answer him.

"I will admit…that maybe…maybe…I'm not…completely broken" she told him haltingly. He moved towards her quickly, attempting to kiss again but stopped when he felt her hand on his chest.

"Ianto" she uttered the name softly and had to bite back a laugh as a confused and almost offended look settled on Jack's face.

"Ok, I wasn't expecting that" Jack admitted and Apanie smiled up at him as she shook her head

"No Jack. You're with Ianto."

"I can end it" Jack insisted, but Apanie shook her head, pushing him back so that she could sit up.

"I can't let you do that Jack"

Jack sat up next to her, fighting his anger and frustration, but she didn't give him a chance to say anything more as she continued.

"You care deeply for Ianto, Jack. Maybe even more deeply for Gwen. Ianto knows the score, perhaps even better than you do right now. He's a good guy Jack, and while I'll never admit that anyone is good enough for you…I think he comes damn close" she told him with a smile. Jack returned the smile almost unwillingly as he thought about Ianto. Apanie's eyes sparkled with mirth as she turned to fully face him, wanting to make sure that he fully comprehended what she was about to say

"We have an eternity Jack…you only have a lifetime with those you love right now. Take the opportunities presented to you and enjoy the lives of those you love. You'll always have me. And one day, far in the future, it'll be our time."

Jack considered this for a moment. Apanie made sense, he did love Ianto, and even Gwen; Apanie would be there forever and beyond, it wasn't like they had to rush. She did like to take things slowly, he mused, reflecting on the first kiss they'd shared a mere 60 odd years after meeting. A small grin crossed his features, and suddenly he fely Apanie's hand slap him on the chest. He turned to her with mock-anger plastered on his features

"Stop thinking about it Jack Harkness" she told him with laughter in her voice.

"Are we ok?" Jack asked her seriously after a moment.

"Yes, we're ok" Apanie told him, and was rewarded with a brilliantly tender smile followed by a warm hug.

* * *

The members of the Torchwood team stood gathered around the computer screens in the main area of the Hub. Jack had called them together and was now standing before them, Apanie at his side. 

Ianto tried to gage the status of their relationship through their body language, but found himself failing miserably. His mind was racing through all the possible outcomes of what could have transpired between them, but there was nothing forthcoming from either party. He went about busying himself with coffee whilst the others stood looking expectantly at Jack.

"C'mon Jack, you going to tell us what's going on?" Owen asked impatiently

"Apanie figured out the alien device. She wants to give you all a run-down on what it is before Tosh runs through the specs" Jack glared at the other man.

"So you figured it out then?" Toshiko stared, wide eyed, at the Australian woman. Apani grinned and nodded, her black curls bouncing around her shoulders.

"It was really simple actually. It's a translation artifact. Much like a technological Rosetta Stone, if you will. That's why the lights glow, I think, whenever someone talks. It's translating from one language into another. I don't know how many different languages, perhaps thousands. It could even be capable of acquiring new languages as time goes on" Apanie delivered her theory enthusiastically and Tosh couldn't help but get caught up in her excitement

"This could be the greatest archaeological find the world has ever seen" she exclaimed

"So it's a small, metal Babel Fish" Ianto deadpanned, much to Apanie's amusement. Gwen looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face before turning her attention back to Apanie

"Are you keeping it?" Gwen asked her, figuring that it was a legitimate question. Jack didn't seem to have any power over this woman, and she doubted that he could get her to relinquish the artefact if she wasn't prepared to.

"Actually, I'm not going to keep it. I really think Torchwood could benefit from this device…so I'm going to give it to Toshiko" Apanie approached the pretty Japanese woman and pressed the small pyramid into her hand, closing her fingers around it and patting her hand with her own before stepping away again. Meeting Tosh's gaze she smiled

"You'll learn a lot. I know you'll make good use of it" she told her.

"What are you going to do now?" Toshiko asked, watching the hieroglyphs on the pyramid light up as she spoke. Apanie shrugged in a nonchalant manner

"I'll probably go back to Australia. Although I've been offered a position at Durham University"

"You could be a consultant for us" Tosh suggested, looking expectantly at Jack. Gwen looked decidedly uncomfortable with the suggestion, unsure of how Apanie's presence would further impact on the team, and on her boss.

"You're always welcome here" Jack assured her, meeting her gaze and grinning at her, giving her a small wink. Apanie rolled her eyes

"Thanks Jack. All the same, my heart will always be in Australia. The position in Durham is a great opportunity though. I guess I'll weigh up my options once I get home."

"You're leaving then?" Ianto spoke up, trying to keep the surprise and hopefulness out of his voice. Apanie turned to him and gave him a small conspiratorial smirk and a curt nod. She heaved her leather satchel onto her shoulder and turned back to Jack. He pulled her into a warm embrace, resting his head on top of hers, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, breathing in the scent of her.

"I'm going to miss you. Come back soon, ok?" he told her quietly.

Apanie pulled away and laughed as more tears filled her eyes and she swiped them away

"I hate goodbyes" she told him. Jack smiled affectionately at her as she moved away from him. Turning to Gwen and Owen, she shook their hands, assuring them that she was pleased to have met them. Gwen eyed her suspiciously for a moment before allowing a guarded smile to grace her features and nodding once at the Australian woman to show her acceptance.

Apanie then turned to Toshiko and pulled the surprised woman in for a brief hug.

"If you ever want a job in an Anthropology department, you contact me ok?" Apanie grinned at her, looking at Jack out of the corner of her eye she added "You're much too good at what you do to be keep working for someone like Jack".

Toshiko looked stunned but pleased, and Jack sighed dramatically

"Right, time you got going then isn't it App?" he tapped his watch in mock-impatience.

"Right Jack, I'm off. Ianto? Walk me out?" she turned to the last member of the Torchwood team, not missing for a second the alarmed and suspicious look that settled on Jack's features. Ianto acquiesced to her request and lead her out into the tourist shop that fronted the Torchwood facility.

"Thankyou Ianto" Apanie told him as they approached the desk, turning to face him.

"He chose you, didn't he?" Ianto asked, sure that his assumption was correct.

Apanie cocked her head to one side and considered him for a long moment before reaching up and laying a hand on his cheek. She offered him her sincerest smile

"No Ianto…he chose you" she told him, before turning and walking out of the tourist shop and on towards eternity.

_Cos inevitably, what we used to be will be  
Tainted by the hands of curiosity  
And you will never, no you will never see with virgin eyes again_

_Cos this is the day that everything changes  
And the world stops turning, running straight,  
Into the break lights, you've come to nothing  
This is the day that everything changes and your worlds collide  
You know in time you'll wake to find you're a little unbroken_

_

* * *

_FINISHED! Please review :) 


End file.
